Where is the hickey?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
