***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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