I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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