also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
