so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
