yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
