I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
