We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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