i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
