Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
