hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
