I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
His hands were made for my vagina.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
