party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You smell like stripper and shame
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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