i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize