she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
