exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
