pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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