It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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