I think my vagina is haunted
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.