just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.