we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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