i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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