also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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