found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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