Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
