Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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