I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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