your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
