Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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