Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Your cock deserves a montage
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Bring me that man meat
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
