in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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