i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
