then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
