you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
