pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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