On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
