Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
