i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
