I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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