He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
