she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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