he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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