fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
