Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.