Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
