Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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