i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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