So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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