Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
