Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
