my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
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I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize