Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
