i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
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She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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