I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
