I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
