hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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