You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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