it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
