My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
