Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
