You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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