I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
