the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
