Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
